The study, out of Oakland University, involved 860 participants who were asked to list the reasons they were involved with their ex. They then answered questions that rated the reasons they stayed friends with their ex, and finally, were surveyed to see if they had “dark” personality traits. “Dark” personality traits, in this case, would be things like narcissism, duplicity, and psychopathy, and not (as one might be lead to believe) things like “doesn’t drink on weeknights” and “has never seen .” But I mean, tomayto tomahto.
In a not-so-shocking turn of events because I already just told you the results of the study, people who stayed friends with their exes “for practical and sexual reasons” were also more likely to have dark personality traits. Sexual reasons I (sort of) get if you live in a remote village where Tinder does not exist, but what “practical” reasons are there to stay friends with an ex? Unless you are literally co-parenting a human child, I cannot think of one legitimate or practical reason to stay in contact with an ex. Like, at all. And no, a dog doesn’t count.
The reason for the correlation, according to a narcissist expert who spoke to Broadly, is because people with dark personality types
like my ex care more about how relationships can benefit them and will stay “friends” with their exes so they can exploit them for various things, including connections, resources, and just the ability to manipulate and control another person whose buttons they know how to push. LOVELY.
This study just confirms what I’ve been saying all along: Don’t trust people who claim to be friends with their exes, and don’t let your ex try to weasel his way back into your life. He’s using you. You in danger, girl.
On a final note, given my dating history I now believe I’m fully qualified to put “narcissist expert” on my resume.
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